The First Step Out of the Starting Block

It was my senior year in high school. I had three calendars, to keep a handle on all I was doing in school, church and extra curricular activities! The time of year....spring. The year before, I had run the 1-mile; a distance runner. I wasn't going to win any race but I had finally joined the track team. Apparently while entering middle school, I was so paranoid of being sent to the office for talking, I missed someone explaining that you could be in band AND be on an athletic team. My brother and I were always running all over our farm; it came naturally. By my junior year, I decided that if I was going to do it, the time had come. Distance, I would later discover, was much more of a sweet spot than sprinting but it was my senior year and I had to try.

I carefully placed my cleated shoes (they clicked when I walked on pavement....cool points) on the starting blocks. It was the last heat, which meant I was running with the slowest girls at that meet. That also meant that I was one of the slowest! The gun popped and I was off. Running the 100 meter dash is just a tad different from the 1 mile. Where the mile required pacing yourself, the 100 was my chance to run like a crazy person, as fast as I could. That was exactly what I did!

That season brought many things, the least of which were endless shin splints, charlie horses (cramped calf muscles) and dry heaves. It was NOT a thing of beauty, that's for sure! I knew my chances of setting new records for speed were slim to none, and more on the none side; we had the fastest 100 meter runner in the state and my girl was FAST. But I made it my goal to improve my time with each meet. It was about challenging myself to 1)do something I had wanted to do for several years and 2)to get better at it. In the end, I did improve....every time. I was in incredible shape and felt good about my body. At our sports banquet, I was awarded the first  FCA Outstanding Christian Leadership Award that had been given to someone at my high school Boy, I never anticipated that and it meant the world to me.

Since the days of running across the horse pastures, jumping the creek in the woods where we played, I have been a writer. I've had times where the words came in rapid abundance. Other times, I would have rather had my teeth pulled than to verbalize (even on paper) my thoughts, my vulnerable places. But here I am, in the starting blocks again. My pretty, fit legs have somehow disappeared. Those clicky shoes only lasted one season and were exchanged for clogs and flip flops. The words that come out of my mouth are cleaner but the tone has grown harsh at times. Two things have not changed: I still love writing and Jesus loves me despite my "ugly".

So, I'm doing it. A blog. Putting myself out into this big world. My words; for anyone to read. Some will love it, some will hate it, while still more will come back, trying to decide what side of the fence they are on. This will be my new exercise, The potential is now present to be sharpened. To improve. To step out of the blocks and run like a crazy person. I'm nervous and I may dry heave again but in the end, as before, I have a couple of goals: 1)to get words out of my head and onto the screen, if for no one else but me, to keep me sane 2)to challenge the reader with stories of my own life and encourage you to lean into the "hard", listening for the Father's voice and 3)to always point back to my Jesus. He is the reason I live. And, if anyone comes to know Him as their Savior because of the life moments I share, then it will have all been worth it. This runner is on her mark.